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Healing Letters There is no Right Way

Depending on where you look you will see different ways to do these letters and what to do with them when you have completed them. This is an exercise that can help you heal tremendously however I fully believe there is no right way to do these letters. Everyone’s circumstances are different, because of this I will lay out a few common practices with these letters and all I want from you is to do what feels right to you.

The first type of letter and this is the type that I used is a burn letter. For me this one worked the best because I couldn’t talk to or send letters to a few of the people I would have needed to. I had a lot of childhood trauma that was affecting my daily life and how I felt about myself. I knew I needed to release the pain I was carrying around but because most of the people that caused the internal wounds, I was carrying have passed away sending these letters to them were not an option.

When writing a burn letter let all your feelings flow. You do not need to worry about being nice and not hurting feelings just write what you really feel. This kind of letter is all about release and please write as much as you need to. One of my letters was almost 8 pages long front and back. In this type of letter, you can write things like because you constantly put me down or I wasn’t getting good enough grades and you would yell at me I grew up feeling like I could never be good enough. I pushed myself as hard as I could to make you happy or proud but was never able to get that from you. Because of this I ended up

being a people pleaser and neglecting myself because I felt I wasn’t worth the time or effort.

Pour all your feelings in this letter whether you realized you felt like that, or it just came out while you were writing. These letters are about you and releasing the things keeping you down. Once you have completed the letter read it make any changes you feel necessary. Once you have completed this step I want you to take your letter outside set it on fire and as the letter burns tell yourself something like “I release all the pain and heartache I have been carrying with me. You no longer have control over my past or my future.” Anything that feels right to you to say as you watch the letter burn into ash and let go of some of your wounds.

The second type of letter is the one you will rewrite and actually send to the person who caused you pain. In this kind of letter, you are going to write a first draft the same way you would with a burn letter. However, in these letters because you are actually going to send them, you’re going to want to create a second and a third draft removing any negative or attacking language. For example, instead of saying because you neglected me, I have never felt like I was good enough try something like because you were so busy supporting the house and didn’t have enough time for my needs, I have been carrying around a feeling of not being good enough. The goal of these letters are not to attack but to allow open

conversation between you and the person whom hurt you so you can both heal. If a conversation cannot be had that is okay to. You spoke your truth and that alone will help release some of your wounds.

The third type of letters would be the ones you write in a journal and keep read next year so you can see exactly how far you have progressed and what may still be affecting you. I would only suggest doing this method if you are the type of person that needs to see and not just feel the difference. The first 2 methods should make you feel like a weight has been lifted off you. However, if you are the type of person that needs to document everything this method might work best for you. You would write these the same way you would write the burn letter however you will keep these put them away and when you feel the time is right open your journal and re read your letters. Take a moment to see if you still feel some of the wounds you felt when you first wrote the letters. More so with these I want you to really feel what isn’t affecting you anymore and how things have changed for you since you started your journey.

If you ever have a question or need help, please feel free to reach out you are not doing this alone.


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